Three more sleeps.

Three more sleeps.

That's all that's left between me, blokey and Brighton Marathon. I say 'all that's left' but in reality it feels as though this week is never going to end. Ever.

I can't say that I'm enjoying taper time. I've become used to running higher mileage and I feel a bit tubby and lethargic from running so much less and when I do run I'm finding it difficult to take it easy. But I haven't truly suffered from taper-madness which I feel truly lucky about and I think there are four reasons for this.

Tapier madness!

The first is that I know I have trained hard. I do think that I could have done some more and I'm sure that's natural but I was there for every single one of those tempo runs, all of those double run days, both of those 20 milers and most of the sessions on my training plan are ticked off. There is nothing left that can be done about the ones that aren't. I am at peace with that. Today.

I have had two episodes of bravery failure, both prompted by the fact that I read the marathon guide. Both times I had a marathon nightmare that night. In the first, the marathon was a three lap race in and around a huge stadium. When you completed a lap you had to do it again but backwards. It was dark by the time I finished and everyone had gone home. Then I dreamed that blokey won a spot prize and we were allowed to start in the elite pen. He went to the front and left me behind and I got trampled by the next wave. Make of that what you will.

Read at your peril!

The second reason is because I have managed to keep this endeavour under wraps. The lovely Katie of Splutter and Roll asked me on Twitter why I am doing this in secret and the question did make me wonder whether I just being a bit precious but my recent 'episodes' have cemented in my mind that I have done the right thing.

I work with some truly amazing honest-to-goodness athletes. The guy who sits opposite me at work is a 2:17 marathon runner. The guy who sits next to me may have retired from athletics now but still thinks, on the occasion that he does run, that 6 minute miles are a bit slow. Where I work, anything under 16 minutes for 5k is considered a bit slow.

Yep.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that if they knew what I was doing they would think I was stupid. I know they would be extremely supportive and would give me some wonderful advice. And therein lies the problem. Every time I give the marathon proper airtime I just go into meltdown. The reason I can cope with taper is that I don't have people constantly asking if I'm ready for Sunday, no one is telling me nightmare stories about their marathon and no one is being indifferent to what I'm trying to achieve. Quite simply: I don't have to deal with the fact that on Sunday I will attempt to run 26 uncharted miles.

Reason number three is this blog and the subsequent people I have encountered through it both in real life and on Twitter / The Running Bug / UK Runchat. Talk about the kindness of strangers! I was actually very lucky recently to meet ASD and Si from the 100km to Brighton blog. These guys are so full of enthusiasm for the task ahead and have thrown themselves into it so wholeheartedly that you would have to be made of stone not to take on some of their buzz. I'm sure that anyone who reads this (if anyone does at all) already knows of these guys but I urge you, if you can, to sponsor them as they are really earning every penny for their charity, Tree of Hope.

I was also completely rumbled by Tess 'FitBits' Langley. I do hope I get to meet her at the weekend.

The final reason is because ultimately, I know and accept that none of this adventure has really been about me. It's all about blokey. And I say with a heavy heart that I feel like I've failed him in some way. If not for an idea of mine in the pub to conquer his insomnia I wouldn't even be writing this now. Marathon training appears to have no positive effect on this part of his life, in fact the long run days have actually made it worse. Regardless, he has put so much effort into meeting the sessions on the training plan. He looks fit and healthy. He's been so tenacious throughout and has rarely complained about the process and it turns out he's really good at running. He seems quite unfazed about Sunday and if he's not worried then why should I be?

We will do this. We will do this together. It won't be easy but we will get it done, put our medals on and head to the pub. It's what we do.

Funny thing is that secrets must be my thing because he doesn't (to my knowledge) know that I'm even writing this blog...

Photo courtesy of Born to Plod